We don’t think about relationship mistakes when we first get together with our partners as no one ever dreams or thinks about doing anything to sabotage the marriage or relationship. We are in love, in synch and plan on a forever together full of the same love and passion still burning years on. However, as time goes on, we may get too comfortable, be complacent and start taking each other for granted. The things that kill relationships don’t just appear one day. Cracks develop over time until they are irreparable that they cause the relationship to collapse. Here are some of the relationship mistakes that you should always keep in check.
Being too controlling
We all have a fear of rejection when we are in a relationship. Sadly, this fear can result in some people developing some controlling behavior. If you are a controlling partner, you may find yourself wanting to make decisions for your other half. Always making arrangements that affect the both of you without the other’s input. A controlling partner tends to be overprotective. You sometimes can mistake this as caring. If a partner starts questioning where you have been, who you have been with and what you have been doing each time you go out alone that is a sign of controlling behavior.
A controlling person finds it easy to blame other people so as not to take responsibility of their actions. Being too critical, gaslighting, micromanaging and isolating a partner from others are also signs of controlling behavior. Any of these behaviors on their own may not mean anything deep. However, if your partner or spouse acts this way all the time and won’t take your interests, needs, and opinions into account, they might be trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are relationship mistakes that always result in resentment and emotional distance, bringing about the very rejection that it is meant to avoid.
Being too needy
Sometimes people believe that when they are in a relationship, it is the partners duty to give them constant attention. They expect their partner to fill their emptiness, ensure that they are never alone and ensure that they feel good about themselves. Your happiness and emotional being is deemed the responsibility of your partner. This gives too much pressure on the partner. It is very difficult to love a person who is too needy, someone who can’t function on their own. Ideally your partner is there to compliment you but not to complete you.
Sometimes relationship mistakes stem from unrealistic expectations. We know nobody is perfect, but you may find yourself expecting your partner to be just that. So when our partner don’t turn out to be the way we thought they should be, we become disappointed and wonder what we ever saw in them. Now, it’s very likely that you never meant to set the bar so high. But usually, this kind of expectation is set when you regard your partner very highly, and therefore idealize them. There is nothing wrong about thinking highly of them, but remember, that they, just like you, are only human capable of making mistakes. So, the earlier you incorporate this fact into how you see people and their relationship to you, the better you are at handling their shortcomings when they arise.
Ignoring each other’s interests and friends
Some people assume that for a relationship to grow strong, they need to focus all their attention and energy on that one person. Usually, what happens is that they lose time for other people in their lives, shutting them out. This is a relationship mistake and about as bad a move as you can make for yourself. You are doubly at loss because the relationships that you’ve set aside feel abandoned while the one, you’re focused on is experiencing a lot of strain. It will only be a matter of time when the person you’ve put so much time on will feel smothered and want to take time off from you. When that happens, you will find that there isn’t anyone to help you out.
Expecting the relationship to complete you
Develop the attitude that you can stand on your own two feet and that you are complete regardless of whether you are in a relationship with someone or not. Do not allow a hole within yourself expecting someone else to fill it for you. If you do, you go through life feeling incomplete, leaving you jaded and unsatisfied. Let’s always try to be in control of our needs and learn t be satisfied with who you are. Relationships are there to enrich something that is already complete to begin with.
Being aware of these relationship mistakes and taking the effort to change will save you a whole lot of disappointment and grief. You can only be a better person for it, which in turn, improves your relationships with others. And that leads to a fuller, more satisfying life for everyone concerned.